Monday, August 19, 2013

Well, It has been a few days since I have spoken with you, and don't worry I am not crazy I know there really is not just a "you." Today, I am learning to stay positive by having humility regarding my past few days. All I have done is enwrapped myself in TV shows while I search the web for things I would want to spend my time doing and concentrating on if I am depressed and miserable or using my right to relax and learn about myself. Either way, I now believe I am part of a government agency fixing problems for the President, yes I said it enwrapped myself in television.

So, What do I want to do with my life?

1). Write a HBO show on my family, it would be a hit, trust me.

2). Keep my Innkeeper status, reliving "The Gilmore Girls" everyday.

3). Become Olivia Pope, and show my Badass side to the world, don't worry it is there, don't mess with me.

4). Raise a unicorn farm

5). Get another degree

6).  Keep truckin' along

It takes doing a few productive moments away to really start understanding. Taking a step back. God damn, this shit is hard. Am I alone? Everyone says I am not, but sometimes I do truly worry that I either doing something wrong or that something is wrong with me.

Maybe living alone in the city is the wrong thing for me. I actually get my time alone, uh oh.

Well, regardless, I guess this is life as we know it. Do the right thing, above all else, and just keep going.

When I start closing my blinds and avoid the sunlight than I will get back to you.

for now,

Day dream away, city.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Dear the few who will ever read this,

Today is kind of my second full day in this new bustling beautiful city. While all of that seems exciting, and it is, trust me. I still cannot get my head out of the clouds. Every time I get to the next square I can't wait for the one after that. Why not just enjoy my square for  a little bit. Its almost like I embrace change so much that I can't stand to be in any square. This is not necessarily a good thing, why? Because I can't always enjoy my present moment, im too excited and anxious for the next. Balance. For a little while I want to be afraid to step out of my little invisible square box and be afrid of the change, instead of being so afraid of the present.


I am unemployed Why again? Well, I worked throughout college. Now, don't think it is impressing it really wasn't. I can't slow down very well. I had to work to maintain sanity between studying and a social life that was more work than college. I mean that in the most best but saddening way possible. I was driven by friends, they almost controlled me. Most times I couldn't wait for work, that is until it was time to work than I got sad I was missing out. See, head in the clouds, never fully concentrated on what I am doing in the present. Back to my example. I quit my job when I moved to the city after graduating. I always thought I would get my dream job that paid millions and I would help society but be well off all at the same time, like Oprah. In reakity I know that is not how it is done, but still this shit is harder than I expected! And, apparently working in restaurant jobs and playing college soccer with a diploma is NOT experience. Who knew? Well, my dad came to visit to keep my spirits up and help me get a car. What a guy right? Anyway, he stayed at a cute little INN down the street and I jokingly asked the lady working if they had any openning. Turns out they did for part time and guess who got it right away? So here, I am getting calls from insurance agaencies to be a sales lady. No way!

Finish this story later. I gotta go be morally and physically irresponsible.

Till lata,

daydreamerinthecit (not so city in a bit)